Learning Through Times of Study and Service

by Olivia Beaverson

Journal Prompt:

What is one major lesson or thing God is teaching you so far this week? How have you found yourself tested, and what has your response been like? Can you connect that to the Bible Studies we’ve been having?

One major thing God has been teaching me this week is just how near he is guiding me to love people well even when I feel I can’t. I’ve been tested as we were in fast-paced team projects that kids were relying on us to do well. These projects and facilitations included challenges like finding my role and my teammates’ roles, listening, time crunch, disunity, and just an all-around struggle with the team dynamic.

I’ve also been challenged by my own insecurities that continue to feed me lies that are so easy to believe and that’s what really takes me out. The challenges with team dynamic make me frustrated but my insecurities make me sad, angry, and selfish. The closer I’ve felt the LORD I noticed my response shifting to more tender emotions but when I don’t take captive those frustrations or insecurities, I get hard and clam up. God’s been teaching me to take lies captive and make a turn towards truth.

As I write this I think about the SLAM Bible study the second night and the point Mr. Garner made about the children of God being people who could “close the gap” by showing the world around us who God is to the extent that our lives could be a path others could follow to get to God. This clicked something in me. I realized that God was right there with me and he needed my help and wanted my help to get the rest of his kids closer to him.

It’s funny because it’s not like he wasn’t that close before. I realized that I was just unaware. So once I became aware, it gave me the confidence to know that even in my struggle to take lies captive, God might feel far off but he’s still right there and that’s the truth. I believe in faith that helps me fulfill my role as a child of God even when I’m having a rough go of it.